Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Multnomah; Expanded ed. edition (June 2, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1601421656
ISBN-13: 978-1601421654
Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (193 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #22,663 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #7 in Books > Teens > Social Issues > Dating & Intimacy #27 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Theology > Ethics #43 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Specific Demographics > Minority Studies
When God Writes Your Love Story changes the focus a bit from a lot of other high-profile contemporary Christian "relationship advice" books from "Don't have sex before you are married because God says not to and because it will be more special if you wait" to "Wait, because God's best for you is for you to wait for the One who you can love and trust completely. Wait, because knowing God's love is more important than knowing another human's. Wait, because when you are so in love with God, you will WANT to listen and care about what He says." One example is that most of us don't like chores or our parents rules- until we decide that they are important for us, that they really are what is best for us, and because we love them and decide to obey them, and that it's the same with our Father in Heaven.This book also talks about not just seeing how close you can get without going "too far," instead talking about keeping your purity (both physical and emotional- as in, not sharing your heart with someone who will not care).I would totally suggest this book to anyone willing to have some opinions gently- unobtrusively- challenged and thoughts provoked.
This book explores God's plan for lasting love, and how that contrasts with the self centered approach that young men and women too often take in finding a mate. The story roughly follows the authors from their troubled teen years as single Christians, through the friendship and courtship stages of their relationship with each other, to their present life as a married couple involved in Christian singles ministry. Authorship of each chapter alternates between Eric and Leslie as they share their life experiences and the wisdom God has given them along the way. In his quest, Eric felt that God was revealing to him "the beautiful side of love", a heavenly song sweeter than any known by those who don't personally know Christ.This book is appropriate for a 14 - 19 year old Christian audience. This latest revision shows that the authors have matured in their writing style and have made some useful edits to the content. Popular literature quotations have been reduced in favor of Bible quotations that were added, making the message clearer than in the original text written back in 1999.Eric describes how as a teen, he would give his heart away to girls he was dating, but acted selfishly with them because he assumed the relationships wouldn't last. After his sister gave him a book that exhorted him to give control of his life over to God, Eric was determined to never give his heart away to another girl unless God showed him first that he was going to marry her. Meanwhile, Leslie entered high school thinking it would be fun to date a lot of different guys. She thought that by keeping a few simple Christian dating `rules', she would be obedient to Christ and her heart would be protected. However, she found this lifestyle left her with a broken heart, feelings of guilt, and depression. She realized that she had placed God on the periphery of her life, rather than at the center, and decided to put her relationship worries in God's hands.Individually, both Eric and Leslie raised their standards regarding physical intimacy, so that they weren't just holding on to virginity, but pursuing purity. Eric reasoned he could no longer kiss a girlfriend, since he expected the relationship would not last and his actions would dishonor his future wife. Leslie set out to protect her emotions and wait for a man who would persist and win her heart. Eric and Leslie met, developed a relationship, and spent lots of time together - but as platonic friends who assumed they might marry others. Without admitting it, they found themselves silently harboring romantic feelings for one another.I liked several aspects of this book. One is the message that we as humans have a God-given desire for companionship, and that developing a lasting relationship with someone of the opposite sex is not possible without making emotional closeness a priority (i.e., getting to know someone really well). Another idea I agreed with is that love is a choice rather than a feeling, enduring when times get tough or romance diminishes. I agree that we are living in a hurry-up world that demands instant results, but relationships aren't made to work that way. In one chapter, Eric shows what it means to forgive someone, and describes many useful ways men can build up their marriage (or dating) relationship. I also liked the concept of a couple choosing a team of spiritual mentors that can guide and/or support their relationship. I appreciated the partnership modeled by the husband-and-wife authorship of the book, and I enjoyed the contrasting views shared by Eric and Leslie as they wrote alternating chapters.On the other hand, there are several points I didn't agree with. One is Eric's premise that one should not "date" a person unless they are shown by God that they will marry them. He admits that there is wide latitude in how one may interpret the word "date". Not allowing himself any physical relationship with Leslie, he implicitly conveyed his strong feelings toward her only by spending a great deal of time with her. At some point a decision regarding how to proceed had to be made. This led to (a) his telling her that he thought they may be spending too much time together, and (b) his informing her dad Rich that he wasn't pursuing his daughter romantically. While each of these steps served as a check point permitting the relationship to dissolve, and would have allowed Eric an out if it had, Eric's confession to Rich was actually less than honest. Rich read the situation correctly and offered his approval to Eric anyway; two weeks later, Eric gained enough confidence to inform him that he wanted to marry Leslie.There are other problems. I would have liked to better understand how the authors defined purity. On the one hand, Leslie instructs readers not to become physical in their relationships, but describes how shutting off all physical contact prior to marriage can backfire (chapter 4). Rather restrictively, she claims the Bible instructs young men and women to not have any physical contact with one another (chapter 7). Later in the book, Leslie relates the true love story about the courtship between an enlisted soldier and a young beautiful lady he was corresponding with during World War II (chapter 10). Leslie upholds the woman's character as "Godly", despite a deceitful and manipulative trick she played on her suitor which forced him to choose between the woman's mind and her appearance. I found myself drawn into this drama, but where in the Bible are Christ's followers instructed to lie and deceive? Eric instructs readers to reserve "every expression of sexual intimacy" until after one's wedding, but without defining specifics. When challenged by a college student claiming his approach results in "sexual repression" (chapter 5), he bemoans undisciplined Christian attitudes and quotes "thou shall nots" which serve as stern, if not completely relevant Biblical warnings. Thankfully, in this revision, Eric's general admonition against kissing seems to be confined to a personal choice that he made, rather than general counsel to everyone who reads this book.Eric discusses how Leslie's wish that "he had never desired another woman in his life" as proof positive that his anti-dating mantra is founded in God's will. (But is this holding someone to a Godly standard, or forcing unrealistic expectations on them?) In this revision, however, the context of their discussion of his prior relationships has been edited out. In the original book, Eric tearfully confessed to Leslie that he had not always loved her, and that he had wasted years of his life on prior dating relationships. Her statement in reply was one of acceptance and compassion toward him. Here, the original message of redemption and forgiveness and his release from bondage to his insecurities was lost. The point should have been that Eric had failed, but God gave him Leslie anyway - he didn't have to become righteous before He provided the love of a woman who would become his wife. Correspondingly, neither did she have to become righteous for him, though in fact God was maturing both of them, allowing their relationship to flourish. I also didn't care for seemingly boastful phrases, such as "princess of purity", or even the subtitle of this book, "the ultimate guide to guy/girl relationships". I thought as followers of Jesus, we were not supposed to boast of our own obedience, but only boast of the Lord's sacrifice on the cross (Matthew 6, Galatians 6:13-15).Despite significant problems, I appreciate a fair amount of the material in this book. In the end I think God was at work with Eric and Leslie in growing them up, so to speak, and that He brought them together and gave them the opportunity to marry and become partners in Christian ministry in an area where they have relevant personal experiences. I think they have given an honest account of their lives, including both their successes and failures, and related that to what they learned as they developed a deeper relationship with the Lord as young adults. I appreciate that in their discussion of the principles of Christian dating, they have stayed away from too many burdensome "rules" and focused on the issue of "relationship". I didn't like the inconsistent and haphazardly applied Biblical grounding for some of the material. However, I think the authors made a good faith effort, and have put forth some ideas that are worth consideration. I would still recommend this book for teens, albeit with some hesitation. For a college-aged or young Christian singles (18+ years old), I recommend the book "Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity" by Lauren F. Winner.
Easy to read and understand book about allowing God to choose your mate. So many teens and adults for that matter seem desperate for a relationship, any relationship in some cases. It seems their identity is all wrapped up in the relationship and the focus and energy is maintaining the relationship, even if it's unhealthy. This book shares the authors dating disasters and the desperation so many folks have. The authors finally realize their identity must be in Jesus Christ and not in some relationship. The authors hand over the reins of their love lives to God and allow Him to write their love story. The book is authentic and offers solid tips on how to achieve peace of mind when the Creator of the Universe is in charge of this important area. The book's theme might be: Do you want to settle for less than what God has planned? I read the book after a college student raved about it and agreed--it's a fantastic book. We bought 3 copies, one for each child and a household copy which we're planning to share with others. My husband is currently reading a copy. When he's finished we'll give each child their own copy, ask them to read, and we'll discuss it afterwards. I believe this is a life altering book and recommend it highly.
One of the more clear and helpful books on Christian relationships I've ever read (and honestly I've read my fair share). I am 25 years old and in my first relationship (19 months and going strong!), but I read this book first when I was single and again right as my relationship was beginning. Not only does it give very helpful advice to someone in a relationship (such as ways to maintain your purity and keep the correct priorities), it also really was like warm butter on fresh bread to me in my season of singleness. Because this book is based on letting God have control of your love life, it is encouraging to someone aching for a relationship and trying to keep the right priorities. I know that it helped me immensely and it brought me to a new level of intimacy with God when I didn't have that with another human being.
The problem I have with books like this is that it gives a very narrow path on a topic that is not as black-and-white as the authors make it out to be. It kinda comes across as "This is the way it worked for me, so this is God's will for everyone". Read with a grain of salt.
When God Writes Your Love Story (Expanded Edition): The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships Fly Guy Meets Fly Girl! (Fly Guy #8) Boost Your Guy-Q: Quizzes to Test Your Guy Smarts Fly Guy's Ninja Christmas (Fly Guy #16) Fly Guy and the Frankenfly (Fly Guy #13) There's a Fly Guy in My Soup (Fly Guy #12) Hooray for Fly Guy! (Fly Guy #6) Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Expanded Edition CD: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment Everybody Writes: Your Go-To Guide to Creating Ridiculously Good Content Rocket Writes a Story Never Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested, and Prevent Dead-End Relationships Child Writes: A Step-By-Step Guide To Writing And Illustrating A Children's Picture Book Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships A Critic Writes: Selected Essays by Reyner Banham (Centennial Books) The Unstrung Harp; or, Mr. Earbrass Writes a Novel Gaza Writes Back: Short Stories from Young Writers in Gaza, Palestine Yoko Writes Her Name People Styles at Work...And Beyond: Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better The Guy's Guide to God, Girls, and the Phone in Your Pocket: 101 Real-World Tips for Teenaged Guys Aloha: Love, Suite Love/Fixed by Love/Game of Love/It All Adds Up to Love (Inspirational Romance Collection)