I Have A Bad Feeling About This Download Free (EPUB, PDF)
Wilderness Survival Tip #1 Drinking your own sweat will not save your life. Somebody might have told you that, but they were trying to find out if you'd really do it. Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors―but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood... Wilderness Survival Tip #2 In case of an avalanche, don't despair. You're doomed, but that's a wicked cool death. Wilderness Survival Tip #3 If you're relying on this book for actual survival tips, you're dead already. Praise for Jeff Strand's A Bad Day For Voodoo: "A delightfully ludicrous read."―School Library Journal "Just the thing for teen wiseacres."―Booklist "[A] free-wheeling dark comedy that starts off running and doesn't stop until all plausibility is exhausted. Sam Raimi fans should eat it up."―Publishers Weekly
Lexile Measure: 740L (What's this?)
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire (March 1, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1402284551
ISBN-13: 978-1402284557
Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.8 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #214,908 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #223 in Books > Teens > Literature & Fiction > Sports #318 in Books > Teens > Literature & Fiction > Humorous #608 in Books > Teens > Literature & Fiction > Action & Adventure > Survival Stories
Age Range: 12 - 17 years
Grade Level: 7 - 12
This book is very funny, but while it's aimed at a middle grade audience it isn't very much like your usual middle grade hero/adventure/comedy. The hook is that Henry and his buddy Randy are sent to a semi-psycho survival camp in order to toughen up. When they get there there are only three other campers, all nerds and geeks, and the owner/operator, who is hilariously over the top as a mental, manic drill instructor. The rest of the plot has the kids settling in as campers, and then fighting off an attack from some criminals, (sort of like "Home Alone" in the woods). (Monica, from the nearby music camp, joins them and is, of course, the most competent of the lot as well as a very funny love interest for besotted Henry.)Here's the thing - the book is deadpan funny. The dialogue crackles. There are great set pieces, like when the kids first go the archery range, or are served their first survivalist camp lunch. But, there are very sharp, edgy, perceptive throwaway lines and tossed off bits. The writing is crisp and on point. The book feels like a novelization of a very funny stand up comedy act. Think about taking an act based on rambling, shaggy dog stories of youth - say from Bill Cosby or Jean Shepard. Then augment that with observational humor from a Seinfeld or a Paula Poundstone. Then amp that up with the angry comic riffs of a Lewis Black or a Sam Kinison. Mix it together and tone it down to a middle grade "PG" rating, and that's what you have here. It's that good.There is no fart/booger humor or any of the other cheap laughs or gimmicks you often get in even good middle grade humor. These laughs are carefully built, with some jokes being built up over a page or two, ("this boys, is a grenade..."), and some just rolling out rat-a-tat tat.
My 10-year-old daughter and I just love this book. I’ve thought Jeff funny for years now, but when I heard about this book I knew that it would be a really cool read for someone her age. She’s not the daughter that’s the princess, she is more of the tomboy, so she likes Diary of a Wimpy Kid types of books, though her reading level has increased beyond that. She enjoys books that are about survival in history, or in the elements, enjoys Survivor on TV, and also likes really funny joke books and reading materials about kids in all kinds of crazy situations. I was spot on when we read this book and it totally fit the bill in regards to her personal reading list. She says to tell Jeff, “that he is some crazy funny writer and to write her more.” She really liked that it had archery, she said.Personally, I thought myself that Strand did a good job with the action scenes, the dialogue, and with maintaining what the actors were thinking in their own heads. He had a good handle on how teens might act in this situation. You know, NORMAL teens, not over the top Disney channel type of teens (well maybe when Shia LeBouf made Even Stevens famous), but normal teens put into unlikely scenarios. It like Jeff’s banter and I think most teens will as well. It’s clean comedy with great humor. He also had great character development and a fun, yet downright captures all the coming of age angst that teenagers feel. Sent off to camp to be made stronger and more confident, these characters eventually take on more than any adult might handle.I really liked the Survival Tips that were given at the end of each chapter and found them hilarious. I think that many adults could probably read this book just for a laugh at its twisted nonsense and it would probably make a pretty good movie.
I remember how it felt being schlupped off camp when I was a kid....lonely, lost among strangers, far from home, dangerous, hellish woodlands filled with ferocious, flesh-eating beasts hungering for my blood....at least there were no gangsters looking to shoot my sorry butt. Hapless nerd Henry Lambert, with best friend Randy in tow, is sent to Strongwoods Survival Camp, which promises to build boys into men, making them stronger, more confident, and better equipped to face the world. In reality, Strongwoods is a small, ramshackle camp run by a loveable lunatic named Max (At least he's loveable to me...but then again, I'm not at his camp.), who is destined to be portrayed by Stone Cold Steve Austin when I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS makes it's way to the silver screen. (Get busy with this, Hollywood!! Make it happen!!!) As Henry and Randy struggle to please the over-the-top Max, Strongwood's owner, Lester, who is heavily in debt to a gangster named Mr. Grand, is given an ultimatum: Pay or die. The wily Lester manages to convince Mr. Grand that the money is at Stongwood Survival Camp, and soon Mr. Grand, hired muscle in tow, is off to demand his money from Max, who knows nothing about any of this. Grand and company arrive right in the middle of Strongwood's Survival Games, and the stage is set for a bizarre, hilarious melding of LORD OF THE FLIES, SURVIVOR, THE HUNGER GAMES, and DIARY OF A WIMPY KID. Anyone who has ever read Jeff Strand knows they're in for a good time whenever they crack open one of his books, and I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS is no exception. I rarely laugh when I'm reading, but this book had quite a few laugh-out-loud moments. This is a young adult book, but aside from some humorous violence, and a (mostly-offscreen...
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